Finding a Room Mate
Credit for this article belongs to Susan Whelan, published here.
Finding a new room-mate or flatmate can be a stressful undertaking. Whether the new member of the household is known or a stranger answering an ad, there are always concerns about compatibility. Choosing to share a home with a friend has its own list of pros and cons.
If considering placing an ad or otherwise looking for a room-mate with whom there is no previous relationship, there are some basic questions that should be considered to minimise the risk of unnecessary friction and arguments.
Finding a Room-mate
Before an interview can be conducted, it is necessary to get the word out that there is a vacancy. This can be done through a local newspaper ad, internet sites such as craigslist or notices placed on a local university, technical college or work noticeboard. Alternatively, word of mouth between friends and workmates can often be sufficient to find someone.
Accepting a friend of a friend as a room-mate can cause problems if things don’t work out, although it can also provide a greater sense of security than the alternative of moving in with a complete stranger. Consider all options before deciding on the best way to proceed.
Sharing Finances
One of the most important considerations is ensuring that the prospective room-mate will be able to pay for their share of the household expenses. This includes rent/lease payments and also shared utilities bills, groceries, phone bills and other expenses.
It is reasonable to seek information about the applicant’s occupation. What do they do and how long have they been working for their current employer? Are they working full-time or part-time? Are they studying?
Contributing to the Household
There is more to sharing a home than paying the bills. Finding a room-mate who is willing to contribute to the cooking, cleaning and general upkeep of the living space is also important. Do they have any life-skills that will be useful? Can they cook and shop for groceries, work a washing machine, vacuum or mop a floor, clean a bathroom or work a lawn mower?
Lifestyle Considerations
Without any implication of discrimination or intolerance, it is an undeniable fact that some lifestyle choices just don’t mesh. If one member of the household likes to go to bed early so that they can wake a 5 a.m. for an hour of peaceful meditation and yoga and the other likes to play loud music until the early hours then sleep in until mid-morning, the arguments are inevitable.
Consider living habits such as dietary preferences (vegetarianism and special dietary needs such as nut allergies or gluten intolerance), night owl/early riser preferences, sexual orientation, religious affiliations, smoking habits and alcohol consumption. Even hobbies or interests, such as the need to regularly practice a musical instrument, can cause friction.
If study or work schedules aren’t fixed, this can also be a complication. Shift work or irregular hours can create organisational and lifestyle issues that may be best avoided. Alternatively, the possibility of time at home alone because of differing work hours can help everyone to have an opportunity to enjoy some privacy.
Sleepovers
Another potential problem between room-mates is the introduction of boyfriends/girlfriends into the household. Will it be acceptable for partners to stay overnight? If yes, is this only acceptable as an occasional event or will regular overnight guests also be allowed? Will overnight guests only be acceptable if the person is a long-term partner and not a new or casual relationship?
Once a suitable room-mate is found, the day-to-day issues of sharing a household such as dividing expenses and establishing a housework/cooking routine can be discussed in more detail. |
